Talking to Children and Teens About Substance Use

Discussing substance use early and often benefits children’s mental and physical health. Your ongoing dialogue may persuade your child from drinking or vaping as teens. Adolescents who drink are more likely to use drugs, experience depression or anxiety, have unprotected sex or make other risky decisions that could affect their well-being.

When should I start these discussions?

When a child is old enough to notice smoking, cigarettes, or alcohol use, that is the time to begin having conversations about substance use.

Interactions should be brief, honest, and age appropriate. If you talk about substance misuse regularly beginning when your child is in kindergarten or first grade, they’ll be positioned to make better decisions when they’re exposed to alcohol, e-cigarettes or other substances.

You can begin discussing substance use with your child or teen at any age – it’s never too late. Rather than having one big talk, bring up the topic often, and be age appropriate. When your 5-year-old sees someone smoking, you can simply say, “Smoking is not good for your lungs and I want you to be as healthy as possible.”

When your child is older, you can have more detailed discussions about the health consequences related to smoking or vaping or risky behavior associated with drinking. Your conversations should evolve naturally, as your child grows.

How do I start?

If you aren’t sure how to talk to your child or teen about substance use, we have conversation starters you can download below. Or try these techniques:

• Share your values. Let your child know, from an early age, what your family believes about substance use.
• Give age-appropriate reasons. If your grade-schooler plays sports, remind them that athletes need strong lungs, and cigarettes harm lung health. You can talk to older kids about alcohol’s effects on brain development or the dangers of driving under the influence.
• Talk about use versus misuse. This is especially important when talking about prescription drugs. Doctors prescribe medications for specific people with directions about when to take it and for how long. Talk about how it’s not appropriate to take someone else’s medication or to take your own medication in a way that goes against what the doctor has said.
• Choose your words carefully. Notice how you talk about substance use around your child. Your words and actions serve as a powerful model for your child.
• Ask questions. Maintain an open dialogue about substance use. See if your child knows people who drink. Find out if the school bathrooms are filled with students vaping between classes. Don’t be judgmental when you respond, or you may shut down the lines of communication. Teens are often curious about smoking, drinking and drugs, so it’s crucial for them to realize that they can continue talking to you honestly about substance use.

This article was funded by a grant from the Centers for Disease Control Division of Overdose Prevention (DOP) National Center for Injury Prevention and Control (NCIPC).

Download Our Substance Use Conversation Starters!