November 2025

How to Talk to Your Child About Your Mental Health Challenges

The Kids Mental Health Foundation Icon
Leah LaLonde, PhD and Tyler Warner, MS

Article Summary

 
  • Children are often aware of their parents’ mental health struggles, and when it’s not talked about, it can lead kids to feel anxious, wonder if they are the cause or lead them to try and fix their parents’ problem.
  • Starting open and age-appropriate conversations can reassure children and reduce stigma around mental health conditions.
  • When you talk about and show self-care (like therapy or coping strategies), it instills hope and normalizes mental health as something that can be worked on.

Most parents have stressors— whether at work, in their relationships or financial. When these stressors add up, mental health challenges can come up. Working through mental health challenges does not make you a bad parent. In fact, modeling seeking help and healthy coping strategies can help normalize and teach your child healthy ways to manage stress.

Why should parents talk to kids about their mental health disorder?

Some parents may be diagnosed with a mental health disorder that is more chronic (e.g., long-lasting) and wonder whether they should talk about it with their child. Consider, why is it easier to talk to our kids about chronic health conditions compared to chronic mental health disorders? Mental health disorders are much like chronic health conditions, like diabetes, that require daily care, medications and sometimes may “flare up.” Unfortunately, there is a lot more stigma around mental health conditions, making it more difficult to talk about.

In these cases, a parent’s gut instinct may be to keep quiet about their own mental health difficulties to protect children. Unfortunately, not talking about it does not make it go away, and children are more aware of parent mental health than parents may expect.

How does a parents’ mental health impact their child’s mental health?

Kids are usually aware of and affected by their parents’ mental health - whether parents talk about it openly or not.

If we don’t have open conversations, kids may:

  • Blame themselves or believe their parent’s mental health difficulties are their fault.
  • Feel an increase in fear and anxiety. This can happen because children may know something is not right but may not know exactly what is happening, leading to uncertainty.
  • Believe it is their responsibility to care for and treat their parents’ mental health problems, adding a great deal of pressure and stress to a child.

How should parents tell their children about their own mental health?

 It is up to parents to talk to their children about their own mental health challenges and reassure their children that they are not to blame.

When and how we have conversations about parental mental health can buffer children from stress and ensures that they have age-appropriate information.

This conversation can feel overwhelming for parents who may be trying to figure out their own mental health themselves. To get started, you can:

  1. Give age-appropriate information but be open and honest. Let them guide the conversation by giving small amounts of information at a time. If they have a follow-up question, that is a signal to you that they're ready for more information. Be aware that younger children may need time to come up with questions, so they may ask questions later; it may seem out of the blue.
  2. Use direct language and correct terminology during the conversation. For example, sharing the name of your diagnosis directly (e.g., anxiety, depression, bipolar).

Explain what this means in kid friendly words. For example: “Anxiety means sometimes I worry a lot, even though things are usually okay.” 

  1. Reassure your child they are not to blame or responsible for caring for you. “Mommy can get mad sometimes, but I’m not mad at you. Mommy loves you.”
  2. If you do not know how to answer a question in a kid-friendly way, tell them you are not sure how to answer their question and come back to the conversation once you have time to think about how to answer.
  3. Avoid unnecessary details about adult stressors that may contribute to mental health challenges that are beyond what your child may understand. You can talk about it generally (for example, “Sometimes I feel really sad about some hard things I've been through.”).
  1. Instill hope in your child. Tell them about ways you are taking action to treat your mental health. For example:
    • “I talk to a doctor who helps me with my worries” 
    • “When I am mad I use coping tools. For example, I take a walk and listen to some music.”

Keep in mind that this is not a one-and-done conversation. Have ongoing conversations and model using healthy coping strategies to care for yourself. 

By talking to your child about your stress or mental health disorder, you can help reduce stigma and help your child understand that mental health conditions are not something to be fearful of, but instead a condition that can be managed.

References:

Riebschleger J. Grové C. Cavanaugh D. Costello S. (2017). Mental Health Literacy Content for Children of Parents with a Mental Illness: Thematic Analysis of a Literature Review. Brain Sciences, 7(11), 141.

Johnson EI. Arditti JA. (2023). Risk and resilience among children with incarcerated parents: A review and critical reframing. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 19(1), 437–460.

Kerker BD. Zhang J. Nadeem E. Stein REK. Hurlburt MS. Heneghan A. McCue Horwitz S. (2015). Adverse childhood experiences and mental health, chronic medical conditions, and development in young children. Academic Pediatrics, 15(5), 510-517.