5 Steps to Help with Parental Stress

What does your stress look like?

It could be inside, hidden from view:

• A list that won’t stop running through your mind
• Struggling to fall - and stay - asleep
• Remembering all the things you didn’t get done or as well as you liked

It could show on the outside:

• Lack of patience and increased frustration –like yelling about something that wasn’t that big of a deal
• Looking and feeling tired most of the time

Or...it can be both!

We all experience stress. A little stress can actually help us, urging us to get things done. But too much stress isn’t good for our physical or mental health, and it also affects our families and children’s mental health.

According to the American Psychological Association, 48% of parents say that most days their stress is completely overwhelming. That’s understandable when you consider how much stress parents and caregivers are under, especially with growing concerns about having enough money, not having enough time, and worrying about their meeting all their child’s needs, their development and their mental health.

Let’s Change the Way We Think About Stress

Learning to manage our stress as parents and caregivers is important.

• Managing our stress helps our wellbeing and our child’s wellbeing, too.
• Learning to manage stress is a life strategy we all need to know – especially as parents/caregivers.
• Modeling managing stress can teach our kids how to do it, giving them tools for their toolbox.

How do we learn to manage our stress?

Remember – stress happens when you feel like your current resources (energy, support, time etc.) are NOT enough to meet what you need to do.

You can take steps to reduce your stress. Use the downloads below to help guide you through the steps.

Step One: Find the Cause

Think about what causes you the most stress.

• What are the biggest demands?
• What resources are you lacking (Energy? Support? Time? Other things?)?
• How is your current stress level affecting your health and your family?
• Are you able to do the things you value and find important?
• What parts do you feel like you can change and what parts do you feel our outside of your control?

Step Two: Be Kind to Yourself

Encourage yourself!

• Talk and treat yourself like you would a friend. You wouldn’t tell a friend they are awful or shame them for not getting something done, right?
• Acknowledge what you are doing well.
• Take a second to look at your thoughts. Our thoughts play a big role in how we see things and feel. Sometimes we can get stuck thinking about only the ways things are frustrating, especially when we don’t have control over it. If our thoughts stay glued to the negative it can bring down our mood. Use the download below to work on changing the way you think about yourself, the situation or a problem that is causing you stress. Even if you don’t have control over a situation, you do have control over your thoughts.

Step Three: Come Up with a Plan

Think through what you can do to reduce stress. Are there things you’re doing that you don’t have to do? Are there processes that could make it easier or less stressful? Download the guide below to start problem solving today.

• Here’s an example: Goal is to reducing morning stress:
  • Have clothes identified, picked out and ready to go.
  • Put things needed for the next day by the door.
  • Wake up with enough time. Move my phone alarm from my bed
  • Create a new morning routine to help kids understand what is needed in the morning.
  • Visualize what needs to happen in the morning.

Step Four: Fill Your Cup

What helps you relax or calm down? Take moments for yourself.

• Take small beaks to recharge. This could be 5-15 minutes taking a quick walk, texting a friend or dancing to your favorite song.
• Try relaxation strategies, such as deep breathing and guided mediation.
• Be intentional to do something that brings you joy every day – even if for only 5 to 10 minutes.
• If your child has a mental health condition - we have additional self-care ideas for you.

Step Five: Get Support

Connect with other adults. Connecting with others is good for your mental health. You may be surprised that just reaching out and connecting with others, will help others feel able to share too!

• Connecting with other adults may be finding a place in your community where both you and your children can connect like a local library or community center.
• Needing support as a parent or without your children? Find groups at your workplace or in your community. Whether you find a book club, an online community, a spiritual group or some other organization to join or attend that allows you to spending time with others will help.

Everyone needs help sometimes. By sharing your thoughts and concerns with others, you may be surprised at how many others open up too.

You can find more support for your mental health by finding a community agency in your area or checking out a national organization like NAMI or Mental Health America.