Supporting Military-Connected Kids’ Mental Health

With over 1.6 million military-connected children in the U.S. today, according to Mission Roll Call, chances are you know one, whether at school or in your community.

Military-connected kids have a parent, caregiver or close relative (such as sibling or grandparent) who currently serves or who has served in any branch of the armed forces, including the Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force, Coast Guard, National Guard, Space Force or Reserves. Some live on bases surrounded by other military families, while others are geographically isolated with few peers who share their experience.

Because they grow up in a world shaped by military service, their lives are a mix of resilience and unique challenges, which may include:

• Separation from a loved one due to deployment or training
• Frequent moves
• Difficulties making friends and/or assimilating into new schools and environments
• Challenges relating to their identity and belonging
• Gaps in education due to frequent moves 

Every child’s experience is different—and their background, identity, and personal strengths shape how they respond to stress and support. Paying attention to those differences helps us show up in more meaningful ways. 

How can I support military-connected kids and their families?

Support can come in many forms, including sharing local resources, increased check-ins to facilitate trust and providing emotional support. 

Here are some ideas for how you can help.

Parents, caregivers and family:

• Spend intentional one-on-one time with your child. Intentional child time is about meeting your child where they are and giving them your full attention. Spending quality time together can also strengthen your relationship and boost their confidence. In addition, extended family can provide additional support through frequent contact. You can set up virtual family time to stay connected. 

• Maintain routines that provide stability and clear expectations. Military-connected kids often experience changes they can’t control. Consistent routines help kids feel grounded and safe—especially during times of change. Keep it simple: regular mealtimes, check-ins, bedtime rituals, special time or a consistent school-day schedule can make a big difference.

• Keep schools informed of any changes, like deployments or moves, and work collaboratively with educators. This way, you can come up with a plan on how to work best together to support your child during this time.
• Normalize big feelings without labeling them as “bad.” Missing a parent, feeling left out at a new school or being angry about yet another move or training are all valid emotions. You can model language like, “It makes sense you’re feeling that way—this is challenging.” Emotional validation builds trust and resilience.

How do I know that more support is needed? 

Most military-connected kids are resilient, but prolonged stress can show up in subtle ways. Signs may look different depending on age. For younger kids, this might include clinginess or physical complaints like stomach aches; for teens, it may show up as irritability, withdrawal, or risk-taking behaviors. Pay attention to:

• Withdrawing from others or isolating oneself
• Sudden academic changes
• Mood swings or irritability
• Frequent stomach aches or headaches
• Changes in sleep or appetite

If you notice these signs persisting, it’s time to reach out. Military OneSource (800-342-9647 or MilitaryOneSource.mil) offers 24/7 confidential help, including counseling for military families. You can also visit NCTSN.org for trauma-informed support.

• School counselors, military chaplains and pediatricians can help connect families to services early, before challenges become a bigger problem. Families can also reach out to their chain of command or family readiness group (FRG) for unit-specific resources.
  
  

Teachers and school staff:

• Foster connection and inclusivity in the classroom. Creating a classroom culture where every student feels they belong is also important. A sense of belonging at school helps children feel supported, respected and accepted, which is good for their mental health.
• Be emotionally available—even if they’re not ready to talk.
  Kids may not always open up about their feelings, especially if they think you won’t understand military life. Make space for small, low-pressure conversations. Build trust by asking respectful, nonjudgmental questions and honoring the family’s privacy when it comes to details of service. Ask open-ended questions like, “What’s something that felt tricky today?” and listen without jumping to advice or problem-solving.

• Encourage a supportive environment with peer support. Encouraging friendships and a sense of belonging can help prevent bullying and ease transitions. Teachers and school staff play a key role by noticing early signs of struggle and providing flexibility during periods of adjustment. Some schools and families adopt the “Battle Buddy” system—pairing children with a peer who can check in and offer encouragement. It mirrors military values and also builds trust, empathy and emotional safety among peers.

Community members:

• Educate yourself about the unique experiences and acronyms used by military-connected families. One of the best ways to support military-connected families is to learn their language. Check out the different acronyms used in the military setting.
• Celebrate and welcome military families into the community. Show appreciation in meaningful ways. You can show support through attending local events that honor service members, participating in mentorship programs, volunteering with organizations that assist military families, or even just expressing gratitude. 

Another idea is to celebrate the Month of the Military Child; Heroes on the Water provides several examples. 

All of these steps of kindness can go a long way! 

Expert tip for all grown-ups: Celebrate their military identity

Instead of only focusing on the challenges, highlight strengths that come from being part of a military family. Talk about adaptability, courage and perseverance. Each branch has its core values that adults can leverage as they seek to support military-connected children in meaningful ways. Ask children to share what makes their family unique. These moments of pride can help balance the weight of the tough stuff.

When we understand what military-connected children are experiencing and respond with care, structure and connection, we send a powerful message: You are seen. You belong. And you don’t have to do this alone.