August 2025

Helping Kids Support a Friend with Suicidal Thoughts

The Kids Mental Health Foundation Icon
Melanie Fluellen, LPCC-S

Article Summary

 
  • Teens often turn to friends first when experiencing suicidal thoughts, making it crucial to prepare kids to recognize warning signs like persistent sadness, risky behavior, withdrawal or talk of self-harm.
  • Teach supportive responses by encouraging kids to listen without judgment, offer empathy, and guide their friends to trusted adults or resources like the 988 Crisis & Suicide Lifeline.
  • Emphasize shared responsibility—kids don’t need to handle a crisis alone. Self-harm or suicidal thoughts shared with them is not a secret that’s safe to keep.

According to the national 2023 Youth Risk Behavior Survey, 20% of teens seriously considered attempting suicide. When teens experience suicidal thoughts, they often turn to their friends first-not adults.

That can be scary.

That’s why it’s important to prepare kids to recognize the warning signs and how to respond if their friend is suicidal or is in crisis. Kids can be a valuable mental health support to each other.

Warning Signs of Suicide in Teens

Teach your child these five common warning signs that a friend may be thinking about suicide:

  • Persistent sadness or withdrawal: Your friend seems sad a lot of the time or doesn’t want to hang out anymore, for days or weeks.
  • Risky or dangerous behavior: Your friend does dangerous or risky things that they didn’t use to do.
  • Talk of self-harm or suicide: They have talked about hurting or killing themselves, wishing they weren’t around or made comments about how no one would notice if they disappeared. They may have hurt themselves or started making a plan to hurt themselves.
  • Major mood or behavior changes: Your friend may act differently than they have in the past or have big changes in their feelings. They might mention that they can’t sleep or don’t ever want to get out of bed.
  • Loss of interest: They lose interest in things they used to really enjoy.

How Kids Can Support a Friend Thinking About Suicide or in Crisis

Let your child know it’s important to support a friend when they have a concern about their mental health or, more specifically, believe they are thinking about suicide. Here are ways they can help:          

  • Ask how your friend is feeling often.
  • Ask your friend what support they need before jumping to advice.
  • Try to include your friend in plans to feel connected.
  • Reassure your friend that their mental health struggles don’t change how you feel about them.
  • Let your friend know that they don’t have to have a clear reason to feel depressed or suicidal.

Support Phrases Kids Can Use

Share some phrases your child can use with their friend to show care and acknowledge hurt:

  • “What can I do to help you right now?”
  • “Let’s go talk to … (trusted adult they feel comfortable with), I’ll go with you”
  • “You’re not alone other people experience these feelings too.”
  • “Are you thinking about suicide? Have you thought about ending your life? Are you harming yourself?”
  • “It’s OK to ask for help.”

Teach your child to support their friend in a caring way without judgment.

What Not to Say-And What to Say Instead

Instead of saying….

Try saying….

“You’ll get over this.”

“That sounds really hard, and I care about you.”

“You’re fine.”

“It’s OK to not be OK sometimes.”

“You’re overreacting.”

“Tell me more about what’s going on.”

“You’re bringing down the mood.”

“I can see that you’re down. Do you want to take a walk? We can talk about it or not.”

“Why do you have to be sad all the time?”

“Can we call someone together to talk to? I’m not sure how to help but I can call the crisis line and stay with you while you talk to them.”

 

Remind Your Child They’re Not Alone

Make sure your child knows they cannot support their friend all by themselves. They can talk to:

  • A parent or family member
  • School counselor
  • Teacher
  • Coach
  • Faith leader

In addition, anyone can contact the 988 Crisis and Suicide Lifeline by calling or texting 988.

You and your child don’t have to have all the answers to help a friend when they are struggling with thoughts of suicide. Let your child know that recognizing warning signs, knowing the steps to provide support and seeking adult help for their friend is the best way to be a great friend.

Remind your child not to promise to keep mental health struggles, especially suicidal thoughts, a secret. Being a good friend means reaching out for help as soon as you know or suspect that a friend is in danger. Know there is support and they don’t take on this task alone.

If you or your child need help due to having suicidal thoughts, call, chat or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline or text the Crisis Text Line by texting "start" to 741-741. If there is an immediate safety concern, call 911 or go the nearest emergency room.