Boost a Child’s Mental Health in 5 Minutes

Kids want to spend time with their parents and caregivers.

But life is so busy!

The good news is that spending intentional time together can help and you can start small – it just takes a few minutes. And it can start at any age. Even infants can benefit from this.

What is Intentional Child Time?

Intentional child time is a focused effort to build a positive relationship with your child by letting them take the lead.

Intentional time is an excellent way to build a strong relationship with your child. Intentional time is different than spending time together, which is also important.

When you practice setting intentional time together, you focus on the good things that you see and let them lead the activity. Your goal is to be present and create positive moments instead of pointing out behavior you don't like or commands to do something.

By showing your child they have your full attention, you can learn more about them, which increases their confidence. Practicing this also helps your child build listening skills and can help with them following your directions.

How Do I Get Started?

• For a younger child, you can let them know that you’d like to spend special time together, but you don’t have to. You can tell them the time limit, or even set a timer, which may help them transition in and out of the activity.

• For older children, you may just say you want to spend a little time together. It should feel authentic, not like you’re trying to check something off your list.

In addition, you’ll want to remove distractions. Put your phone down, set aside the dinner prep and turn down your music. Show your child that this time is completely for them.

If you have multiple children, this can be challenging. Try finding an activity all the children enjoy like playing a board game or I-spy together. Or take turns giving each child special time as you are able.

How Much Time Will it Take?

Try to commit to five to 15 minutes a day to start. Of course, some days that won’t work and that’s OK. Find a time frame that works best for you and your child.

As you get into the habit, expand the time toward 15 minutes. Some activities and children will require longer times than others.

What Should We Do During Intentional Time?

• Start with something that the child wants to do or is already doing. Are they playing with building blocks or watching a funny video? Ask if you can join.

• You can work with them to make a list of things they’d like to do with you or use our download below to help get you started.

• Kids may like some activities more than others. They may want to do the same thing every day or mix it up.

• This could mean coloring with a young child or letting your older child create their own playlist on your phone.

• Is there an activity that you really don’t want to do? If it causes you stress, suggest a different activity.

• When possible, try encouraging activities that don’t involve a screen, but let your child choose that if you don’t think they’ll do much else with you. Over time, you can try to shift to more interactive activities.

Now What?

• Watch and notice what they are doing. Observe the activity and let them know you’re engaged. If the child is younger, you should respond that you see what they’re doing (“We’re stacking the blocks by color.”) For older kids, let them pick up on the fact that you’re fully engaged even if you’re not giving them a verbal play-by-play. Even saying something like, “I can tell how much you enjoy this” shows them you’re paying attention.
• Praise what they’re doing and what you notice about how they think. For example, “I saw you pause and think through how you were going to score that goal.”
• Try not to ask too many questions. Let them tell you what they’re doing or tell you what to do and then just participate. Asking them a bunch of questions could shut them down.

We have a short amount of time to be fully in their world so try to stay really engaged.

Even if your child does something negative, try not to point it out during this time. Keep things positive. Praise is great for their mental health.

Intentional child time is all about meeting your child where they are and giving them your full attention. It can also improve their mental health and make it easier for them to follow your directions. Spending quality time together can also strengthen your relationship and boost their confidence.

Download our Quality Time Builders below!