Beyond Kindness: Talking to Kids About Justice

Being kind is important, but it’s not enough to fix societal problems like bias, prejudice or discrimination. To create change in the world, we also need to teach our kids about justice.

We want children to understand that a person’s race, gender, physical ability or financial worth can influence how others perceive them. Unfortunately, some people believe negative stereotypes or say hurtful things about others who are different. These injustices don’t just hurt someone’s feelings; they significantly impact someone’s well-being and may even limit their opportunities to succeed in life.

Part of being kind to each other is being allies to those who may be different from us. We must all be allies and teach our children to be allies. Standing up for what’s right may not always be easy, but it’s necessary to create real change in the world.

When teaching your child about kindness, it is important to dig deeper and also talk to your child about justice and bias:

• Define important terms. Explain what bias and stereotypes are (beliefs about other groups of people that tend to be incorrect and an overgeneralization) and how they hurt people. Talk about times when you and your child have witnessed bias or stereotyping in movies or real life.
• Use books. Find books that focus on fairness, diversity and justice, with characters who don’t look like your child and who have different life experiences. After reading, talk about whether the characters received justice.
• Discuss current events. Real-world examples of bias and justice make headlines regularly. Talk to your child about current events in an age-appropriate way. Help them understand that people deserve justice when they experience bias and discrimination.
• Answer questions. Your child may want to know things about people who look different from your family members. Instead of being “colorblind,” talk about other people’s diverse backgrounds with respect. Teach children about different holidays, or consider attending local, cultural celebrations or festivals.
• Encourage acceptance and inclusion. Teach kids to respect others’ feelings, backgrounds, and physical abilities. Encourage kids to invite others to play during recess if they see anyone being left out. Let them know this also means giving others space to express their emotions and experiences. Most importantly, model inclusion and acceptance in all activities you do to show that this is just part of who you are as a family.
• Even people who try to be kind and fair sometimes say hurtful things without meaning to. This happens because everyone has biases based on their lived experiences. Teach your child that they should apologize when they realize their error, and the words “I’m sorry” aren’t enough. Apologies should show that your child understands the impact of what they said and that they’re committed to change. It may help if your child imagines how they would feel if they were on the receiving end of their thoughtless words.
• Teach empathy. Teach kids to consider all points of view, not just their own. Help them figure out that other people’s thoughts and feelings matter. This may keep them from saying something insensitive, or it may prompt them to stand up for a friend who has been treated unfairly.

Kindness and justice go together. As your child grows in their sense of empathy, they’re building connections to others, which is good for their mental health. And by breaking down harmful stereotypes and bias, they’re part of improving the mental health of others.