Helping Kids Cope with Trauma

Traumatic events that happen to a child can impact them for the rest of their life. These traumatic events are called adverse childhood experiences.

According to the CDC, more than 60% of adults report at least one ACE during their childhood. Women and some minoritized groups are more likely to experience 4 or more ACEs.

Examples of ACES include:

• Experiencing abuse or neglect
• Having an incarcerated parent or caregiver
• Witnessing violence (at home or in the community)
• Having an unstable or stressful home environment

Impact of ACES:

• Increased risk for mental illness and substance use.
• Increased risk for long-term physical health concerns (such as diabetes and heart disease)
• Increased risk for academic and learning challenges.

Warning signs and symptoms

Children who have experienced ACEs are at an increased risk of traumatic stress. According to the National Child Traumatic Stress Network, traumatic stress is an experience that threatens life or security that overwhelms a person’s ability to cope.

Here are examples of warning signs and symptoms children may display if they are experiencing traumatic stress. Children experience trauma in a different way and may experience all or only a few of these symptoms.

• Fear of separation or more clingy
• Regression in skills – for example, having accidents but is potty trained
• Sleep problems – including nightmares or insomnia
• Changes in appetite
• Increase in negative emotions – irritability, anger, crying, sadness or anxiety
• Withdrawal or show lack of interest
• Increased aggression
• Difficulty concentrating or focusing
• Avoiding things that remind them of the trauma
• Exaggerated startled response
• Increase of self-blame regarding the event and increased guilt
• Flashbacks of the traumatic event

If there are new or more intense negative emotions and other symptoms (such as anxiety, depression, disruptive behaviors) that are growing in intensity or lasting longer than two weeks, reach out to a mental health professional.

How to Help Kids After They Experience Trauma

Proper support and protective factors can help children cope and adapt after trauma.

Strategies for parents and caregivers

1. Return to established family routines and schedules. Routines help children feel secure and to know what to expect.
2. Continue to establish expectations for behaviors and have rules. We can validate the child’s feelings but remind them that certain behaviors are not allowed, such as hitting others or destroying property.
3. Talk about what happened. Help your child find ways to express their feelings, as it may help them have the words to describe their thoughts or feelings.
4. It is also common for kids to reflect on what happened by incorporating it their pretend play, art or conversations. This is a great way for them to process their feelings.
5. Answer questions your child has in a way that they can understand. Be sure to emphasize that they are not responsible and should not blame themselves for what happened.
6. Read children books regarding similar events may help learn additional ways to cope.
7. Provide reassurance and support. Tell the child you are there to take care of them and keep them safe.
8. Remain calm and patient even though the child’s behaviors and emotions can be harder to manage.
9. Don't ignore your own needs. It is important to check in and assess your thoughts, feelings and needs for support.