Kids' Privacy and Social Media

Social media can have benefits but also comes with risks.Understanding the risks will help you increase your own social media literacy, and help protect your child’s mental health, safety and privacy.

Most social media sites require children to be over 13 per the 1989 Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA). However, not all 13-year-olds are ready for social media; some families should consider waiting until the child is older. Also, remember that you cannot rely on the sites to prevent kids from signing up because it’s often just a checkbox. If they are using your account instead, check your privacy too.

It’s important to make sure your child is responsible offline before giving them access to more content online. Once you decide to give your child access to social media, it’s important to teach them safe practices and to monitor their use. Here are some more tips that work across many platforms:

✓ Avoid detailed, public profiles

Limit the amount of personal information in your child’s profile. Even if a profile has a spot to include details like hometown, favorite websites, bio or contact information, consider leaving that information blank.

Restrict who can see the profile or set it to private – if everyone can find a profile, it’s easier for dangerous people to reach out pretending to be a friend.

✓ Avoid posting detailed, public photos

Keep in mind that when you or others post photos of children with the logo of the school they attend or at an easily identifiable sports game, it makes it possible for strangers to quickly identify what school a child attends.

You wouldn’t post your home address, so why would you post the school where your child spends most of their day?

✓ Avoid oversharing

Teen brains are not fully developed, so they’re less likely to evaluate the potential negative consequences of their behavior ahead of time. The gas comes before the brakes. So they may share more without understanding that their posts live on forever.

Talking through a social media plan as a family can be helpful to discuss what family members are comfortable with being posted online.

✓ Limit connections

See who can connect and follow your child and limit those connections to people your child knows in real life. Teach your child how to recognize people that they know and understand that people can pretend to be someone else on social media. Often you can restrict who sees posts, and who follows an account. Many platforms let you limit who can find your profile and who can send you a friend or follow request.

Find out how to block users before there’s a problem or issue.

✓ Control chat

Check out the messaging feature. Who can send a private message to your child? Restrict these private messages to just connections, or turn off messaging entirely, if the platform allows. Some phones have features that can scan chat for the potential for sensitive or illicit shared photographs as well.

✓ Curate content

Explore the social media feed and explore pages. How easy is it to find concerning content? How do you block and report problematic content or channels? The algorithms are designed to keep users engaged and on the platforms as much as possible. Children and their developing brains are set up to fail against these technologies.  

So what happens? 

Less variety, and often, more and more dramatic and risky content. Often, that risky content – like pranks, substance abuse, and sexual activity – is presented as having very little negative consequences. For example, a teen might see how much fun it is to drink but not see the result of getting sick afterward. 

Some social media sites, like TikTok, support content restrictions. You can also consider alternative kid-friendly platforms like YouTube Kids but be aware that inappropriate content can still appear.

✓ Restrict advertising

Marketers are keenly interested in reaching, engaging with, and influencing kids online. While an ad on traditional media (like a TV commercial) is easy to spot, advertising on social media is more ”under the radar” and often cultivated to your child’s interests. It’s not just the message marketers are sending – it’s also the data that they gather about us and our kids. What we watch, the times of day, and where we are when we’re online are all gold to marketers. They can keep that data for years and sell the information to other marketers/platforms. While adults may understand this, children rarely understand how their social media usage data informs social media platforms how to make their content more addictive- so that kids further increase the time they spend online. 

Review how data are shared with third parties. Social media platforms may share location, profile and activity data with marketers. As a family, consider how much data you are comfortable with sharing and place limits on the data shared where the apps allow. 

Additionally, pay attention to who your child follows and what they’re watching. It can be hard for kids and adults to figure out if advertising dollars are behind user-created content. Instagram influencers, TikTok trendsetters and YouTube stars often receive rewards to promote brands and products, but that isn’t always obvious. Kids are being sold on products or a lifestyle that may be unrealistic. This can lead to envy, isolation or sadness, which can affect their mental health. Kids can end up with negative views of themselves if they don’t have the same products or lifestyles that they’re seeing.

✓ Check device settings too

Find out about the parental controls on the device your child uses to access social media. Often, you can restrict access to certain sites and set time limits.  

Keep in mind that kids can find ways to get around controls. Don’t assume that because you set restrictions and controls one time, they haven't found a way around them! Monitoring and continued conversation is always necessary! Your best protection is a strong relationship with your child.