Helping Children Stay Asleep

Lots of children struggle with staying asleep and waking up frequently. Oftentimes, the cause isn’t a medical issue, but more of something the child has learned over time. When children don’t get the sleep that they need, it can negatively impact their physical and mental health.

Children may get used to having certain things – like rocking, music, TV, phones or having water nearby – and then become unwilling or unable to fall asleep without that thing. They may also have a hard time staying asleep when that thing they are used to is not present all night, like a parent or bottle. This is called a sleep association.

Sleep associations are common in children and may change as the child grows and develops. However, if a sleep-onset association continues and starts to disrupt their sleep, they may have a diagnosis called “behavioral insomnia of childhood disorder, particularly the sleep-onset association type” and will benefit from treatment by a professional.

Waking Up Frequently: What Is It and What Can I Do?

Did you know that the way our sleep cycles work, all of us wake up for short moments multiple times a night? These wake-up times may be so short that we don’t notice them. The problem is that some children cannot put themselves back to sleep independently.

This usually happens when the child is used to falling asleep at bedtime with something or someone (light, caregiver, bottle, rocking) is not there in the middle of the night to put them back to sleep. So, when they wake up, like all children do, they cannot fall back to sleep alone and call out for their caregiver to give them what they need.

Similarly, changing locations after they fall asleep can also cause a child’s alarm system to go off when they wake up in a different place in the middle of the night.

The solution is usually to have your child learn how to fall asleep alone and in the same location they will be sleeping in all night. For younger ones, you can still hold and rock until they get sleepy but lay them down before they fall asleep (drowsy but awake).

Be mindful that what a child needs to fall asleep is what they will need when they wake up at night. You'll want to come up with ideas of safe, preferred objects, such as a pacifier or sound machine, that they can create an association with. Select something that isn't disruptive to sleep. That way, they won't need you to be in the room to fall back asleep.

We have more ideas on how to help your children fall asleep independently. You may need to find your local behavioral sleep medicine specialist to help assist fading you or your child’s preferred objects (if disruptive) from their bedtime routine.

What About Nightmares?

If your child is waking up in the middle of the night because of nightmares, you can try:

· Image rehearsal therapy. This involves having your child draw or write out the bad dream and give it a happy or brave ending instead. Try to have your child imagine it in as much detail as possible.

· Avoiding scary shows. Notice what your child is watching/listening to during the day.

· Making sure your child gets enough sleep. Children have increased nightmares when they are not getting enough quality sleep.

• Creating monster spray. For fear of the dark or monsters under the bed, take advantage of your child’s imagination and magical thinking and try Monster Spray. Mix up some water, glitter, a little soap in a spray bottle and have your child spray it three times before bed every night. Be sure you tell them the spray will keep the monsters away.

For youth with developmental disabilities or trauma-related nightmares, cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia or nightmares may be beneficial and may include:

• Scheduled worry time during the day to prevent worry at bedtime
• Relaxation strategies

Children can develop serious sleep concerns, but they can be treated! Helping children develop healthy sleep habits will benefit their mental health and development for many years to come.